So in my early thirties I finally got the chance to go to Ibiza and go to some iconic clubs having been a fan of dance music for quite some time, I was very excited to finally be in such a buzzing and exciting atmosphere on a beautiful island.
Ibiza certainly lived up to its reputation of being party central and I was so happy to be living my best life and get a club night booked to see David Guetta at Pacha!
The Catalan people like to party late! It was a lovely chilled evening up to entering the club, then we finally went in. I was enjoying the tunes and moved into the main DJ room so I could get a better view, I was loving the atmosphere until more and more people started piling into the main room and being a short person who is somewhat claustrophobic I started to feel the push and shove of bodies almost immediately.
The room was far too busy and my brain started to panic, I was looking for the exits and was scrambling to get up the steps to escape the crush of people. I remember moving towards the stairs and going up them but my feet weren’t actually touching the floor at that point. Unbelievably scary…..
Finally I made it out towards the exit and just took in some fresh air with my heart pounding and feeling completely overwhelmed.
I vowed that I never wanted to be in that situation again and to feel so small and out of control.
Fast forward to 2022, one of my favourite bands - Groove Armada, for anyone who’s interested, were holding a gig in town and I was so sorely tempted to go. I immediately dismissed it though as my primitive survival brain kindly popped up the memory from ten years ago telling me it just wasn’t safe. Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d really be missing out if I didn’t go.
So eventually I made the decision to book tickets and deal with the situation later.
I remember feeling trepidatious in the weeks leading up to event and worried that I might start to panic again.
Finally the day rolled around and fortunately it was an open air event so it didn’t feel quite so restrictive, I was standing at the periphery of the crowd and my husband asked if I wanted to move more towards the middle for a better view, I felt a familiar momentary rush of panic but then told myself it would be fine, took a deep breath and calmed myself before moving forwards.
Honestly, I can say that I’m glad I challenged myself and I have never been in a group of more apologetic and friendly people and I had a great night.
Sometimes it definitely pays NOT to listen to your primitive brain when you know that you have control over it and that it’s stopping you from doing things that you love.